Broadway Beauty Pageant

There was a mixture of fun and sadness at the Seventh Annual Broadway Beauty Pageant on Monday night, May 20.

Several people referred to the horrific murder only a few days before of Mark Carson only several hundred feet from the pageant, which was held for the first time at the Skirball Center on Washington Square South in Greenwich Village.

The evening's M.C., Broadway veteran Tovah Feldshuh, told of driving by the makeshift shrine to Carson and having her children place a bouquet of flowers.

The other somber moment of the evening came much later (much later) -- the evening ended up being long enough for Feldshuh at one point to crack that "it felt like Yom Kippur services, the way they're leaving!), when Carl Siciliano, the selfless founder of Ali Forney spoke. Siciliano told of Ali Forney, a homeless gay young man of color who was also murdered on the all-too-often mean streets of New York.

Feldshuh, however, is above a trooper in the best sense, and she knew that she show must go on -- especially for the several hundred people present who had generously donated to the Ali Forney Center.

And on it did! The contestants were all buff beyond belief, with dance moves, singing and acrobatics to beat the band (and a very, very good band it was).

Callan Bergmann brought for the first time off-Broadway to the pageant. As one of the actors in the long-running takeoff of "Silence of the Lambs," Mr. Silence showed that, in his case, silence is definitely not golden.

Julius C. Carter, Mr. Spider Man, brought down the house with his rap while dressed in a glitter 'ho outfit and carrying a giant bucket of fried chicken. This pageant isn't anything if not politically incorrect, and thank the Lord for that!

Matthew Goodrich showed how a good old boy does a number by (purposely, I hope!) screwing up a striptease down to his boxer shorts, after which he launched into a monologue from William Inge's "Bus Stop." This pageant's participants know how to poke fun at the theater.

Paul Heesang Miller, Mr. Mamma Mia, had two female back-up dancers for his number, and they (like the other female back-up dancers) gave all the straight guys (and lesbians) some eye candy. Hey, can't get forget our straight allies!

Mr. Matilda was Yurel Echezarreta. That unusual surname reflects his Basque heritage, and Yurel had the square-jawed good looks of that Spanish-French region. His own drag number, in a curly blond wig that went on for days, had dance moves that the judges insisted he encore -- twice.

The judges were as hysterical as Feldshuh.

Michael Urie, of "Ugly Betty" fame, starred in "The Temperamentals," about the pre-Stonewall gay rights group the Mattachine Society, and is currently starring in another "straight" (non-musical, that is) play, "Buyer and Cellar."

Billy Porter is currently bringing down the house nightly in hit musical "Kinky Boots." He nearly broke his vegan regimen for some of that fried chicken.

Andrea Martin really is bringing down the house in her turn in "Pippin." The much-beloved Broadway veteran had the audience in stitches with her ad libs, most of which are way too "blue" to be repeated here.

OK, OK. Typical Martin: Woman walks into hardware store. I'd like to buy a hinge. Salesman: You want a screw for that? Woman: No, but I'll give you a blowjob for that toaster in the corner.

All of the contestants were frigging fabulous, but there wasn't much question who was going to go home with the crown after Mr. Pippin, Orion Griffiths, did the balancing number that has the audience roaring at the beginning of the second act of "Pippin," whereby he balances on a small board set on top of five cans at various angles -- on his hands, no less.

Orion did a striptease while balancing on one can (cut the guy some slack), using only his feet and one hand. Once he then balanced in a black Speedo-cut bathing suit on one hand and one leg totally parallel to the floor, he had it in the bag.

Orion helped win over the audience with a brief but sweet little statement about how he told his wife he was going to be in a beauty pageant for a primarily gay audience. She smiled, but she must be smiling even more now.

Having had the good fortune to have seen "Pippin," I admit I was rooting for him. This guy is definitely building a major following in the gay community, and, given that body and that flexibility and that self-depracating sense of humor and those muscles and that gorgeous English accent, it's small wonder why.

Aiding Feldshuh was her "Fairy Godmother" Nathan Lee Graham, whose drag get-up definitely owed a lot to Diana Ross in her glam disco period. He and Feldshuh had a running gag whereby she would say she "needed milk" and would proceed to bury her face in his breasts.

It was that kind of evening. Next year, when the Eighth Annual Broadway Beauty Pageant is announced -- look for it on the Ali Forney website -- run, do not walk, to buy tickets.

It will give you sweet dreams and an incentive to go to the gym for months afterward. Best of all, the proceeds all go toward the only dedicated homeless shelter for LGBT youth in the country.